Reality of life...

Hey everyone,

Just an hour after my post last week I got a call.....one that changed everything. My sweet uncle Henny had passed away in his sleep. In one of my first posts I mentioned how hard it was to leave Holland, especially after him having a stroke, and a second one just a few days before I left. This was exactly what I was afraid of, that it would be the last time for me to see him. Luckily I had spend some time with him and said goodbye before I left, but this news crushed me...the strong woman that I always appear to be was gone, I was a small girl again that needed her family and was crying inconsolably. On the other hand I kept thinking of my family needing me and I couldn't be there for them. Heartbreaking...I searched for places to find comfort and I looked for ways to support my family members who are grieving. The comfort I found in my family here, the one I work for. And in my friends/brothers/sisters here that can always make me smile and try to comfort me with words. As devastated as I was, I realize that I can be very grateful with my real family that is far away and my new extended family that I found here on this island. What I did on Saturday evening? I went dancing, dancing away the pain in my heart. I know it is good to take time to deal with pain, and I did, but for me this was the only way at that moment because I couldn't be with my family.

Then last Tuesday my mom called that Aunt Mien passed away, I felt her pain through the phone and there was nothing I could do but cry with her. And I broke, I literaly broke! Together with some personal issues here, and these to family members passing away, I just broke!

Yesterday at 4PM (the time of his farewell) I sat down just by myself to remember, remember an amazing person, father, uncle, brother, brother-in-law, friend, boss..... And I found peace in my heart.

I think this has been the hardest situation I have been in in my life. And after thinking that I couldn't do it, I did it. Being away from family doesn't mean you don't love or support them, it just means there is more distance between you and them. And like my mom said, the line between our hearts can never be cut, no matter what the distance. Even though this loss hurts and that will never go away, I learned again that I do have that extra bit of strength to cope with the reality of life. Alhamdullilah!

Here is a link to an amazing video compilation that my cousin made, an ode to his father!

Thank you for all the great memories Uncle Henny!

We will meet again!
Love you!

https://www.magisto.com/video/bU0eOUQbQmspQQZgCzE

What am I up to here?

I'm getting more and more familiar with the company, the staff, he island and its people. I am really starting to feel at home and more relaxed in my mind, even though it's very hard work (a lot harder and more hours then in Holland). My new friends include the dogs, cat and now our own Colubus monkey that kind of became our mascot. She came here a week or two ago and is now coming daily and enjoying the attention that she gets from the family and the guests, and even puts up a show! The local staff are also amazing here. Hardworking friendly and I love enjoying swahili lunch or dinner with them and getting to know them better!

 
The Xanadu family including Patrica, our Colobus monkey

I am enjoying work and also now taking time to relax a bit and go out with friends for a chat, dinner or dancing. That is something you have to do to keep up with the long hours at work. I love spending time with my old colleagues of which some became really close friends. And also in the village I like having some local food at my friends place and having a chat with the people there. I feel like living in two totally different worlds now. The exclusive retreat which is my work place and fits me perfectly and the "real" outside world, the life of the locals which is where I feel comfortable. Being able to sit at the beach all night and chat with a friend under a black sky filled with thousands of bright stars is absolutely worth the hard work and the exhaustion sometimes!

And as crazy as my personal life was in Holland, it continues here! But that is a story only for the confidants amongst you. It's not that I look for it, but as it was in Holland, my life never seems to get boring, let me state it that way ;)

Sauti Za Busara festival in Stone Town

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Amazing sunset in the morning here at Xanadu


A night dancing at Jambo with my friends Khatib and Saidi and the crazy Dutch guests


A Bees nest in my room after I came back from a day off

More pics coming!!!

Love you all!

niet helpen is geen optie

Vandaag een vrije dag, maar niet echt kunnen genieten. Op weg naar Stonetown stuitten we op een vreselijk busongeluk. We zijn gestopt en hebben met een paar andere autos gewonden meegenomen en naar het ziekenhuis gebracht, want ambulances kennen ze hier niet...grote bende daar! Een paar lichtgewonden, maar ook heel zwaar en doden...moeilijk om te zien. En er zaten mensen vast in de bus maar daar konden ze niet bij, want de bus was tegen een boom tot stilstand gekomen met een bijen nest...dus iedereen die in de buurt kwam werd lek gestoken. Op het moment dat wij aankwamen waren ze droge palmbladeren aan het aansteken om het nest te verbranden en met de rook de bijen te verjagen om bij de gewonden/doden te kunnen komen.....
Maar verstand op nul en helpen. Heb met een klein jongentje rondgelopen in het ziekenhuis, waar niemand kwam helpen. En ook een vrouw die we brachten en op de grond lag te kreperen van de pijn werd in eerste instantie niet geholpen. Ik heb haar gewoon met een rolstoel de eerste hulp afdeling op gerold. Ze waren daar bezig met de anderen die we gebracht hadden...onder het bloed en sommigen buiten bewustzijn.... maar zelf die laasten hielpen ze niet. Lijkt wel of ze hier beginnen met de mensen die bloeden. Een man was buiten bewustzijn en ik kon zien aan zijn ademhaling dat hij er ernstig aan toe was, maar ook hem lieten ze liggen. En een man die half verbrand was met de vellen aan zijn lijf, daar werd niets aan gedaan.....
Niet helpen was geen optie voor ons, maar makkelijk is het niet. De realiteit is hard en je weet nooit of er een morgen is.

First two weeks on the new job

My first two weeks on the new job were very intense, but I enjoyed every second of it. I love the job, reservations and assisting the manager on the floor, and I am starting to get to know the company. Or to say it in a better way...the family. That is how it feels, like a family that is working on something beautiful here. The owners are actually a family, although I did not meet the husband yet, the mother, daughter and son in law are here. Together with some South African staff and the local staff we are a team!

The hotel is quite new, it has not been open for a year yet, so we are still working on getting the name out and finishing up on some things. Even though the guests are treated like royalty and we as a team make sure that their stay is a memorable one! The place is amazingly beautiful and I am proud to be working here.

I live in the staff house with the other expat staff about 100 meters from the hotel. It is a nice place to live and I am still close to the (kitesurf) village that I spends most of my free time in. Although free time is something I don't really have now. We all work long days and that is fine with me. I try to go out 2 nights a week and have one day a week off. I met lots of new people (local and expat) and also am still in contact with the staff of the other hotel. So now I feel like I started to built my life here....I am getting there!

Some pics or the breathtaking Xanadu retreat...

Familiar faces

So far away but so familiar to see pictures and videos on social media of friends and family. I was part of their lives and they were an important part of mine. Now I am watching everything from a distance with a smile on my face and sometimes tears of happiness that they still are part of my life and because I miss them. I am a very lucky person to have all these great people in my life, close by and far away, because out of sight is certainly not out of mind!

These pics have brought smiles on my face for sure...

Falling in place...

Sometimes it seems that things just fall into place...and sometimes you just have to pinch yourself to see if things are real. 

My first few days at the new job and I am feeling comfortable and appreciated. For personal things there is not a lot of time now, I choose to spend most of my time here a the retreat and that is fine with me, I feel good here and really want to get to know all the bits and pieces here as well as getting to know my colleagues. I live in a house on the same plot as the retreat in a house with the other (management)staff and have my own comfortable room there with a private balcony. So we live together but all have our own space. 

I will keep on working hard and hope to play harder when I get the time ;)

Love you all!

Overview of Xanadu

Rooftop plunge pool Xanadu

Jozani forrest

Dar Es Salaam

Bagamoyo - Fishermans town and historal site (Slave trade)

My new house