Karibu to Zanzibar

My farewell at Dialog was as heartwarming as my welcome in Zanzibar. Thank you all my sweet colleagues for the beautiful words and uplifting comments, motivations and laughter! Thank you all for the amazing time and opportunities! 

Also my family and friends made my last weekend amazing! Thank you all for that!

My first days in Zanzibar have been a mix if tiredness, relaxing and getting to know people at my new home. I was exhausted when I arrived but was welcomed by

my new colleagues and a nice breakfast buffet! After sleeping a few hours I walked around, talked with people and had my first video call with an amazing friend...and then the wifi died..for two days. After a drive to my new hometown to buy a new simcard I just relaxed a bit at the hotel and in the evening had some nice conversations with some colleagues. Good for the distraction because of the exhaustion I felt a bit down...

Friday my friend was coming to visit me. She came earlier then expected and took me on her appointments at other hotels and we went to pick up tourists that were leaving back to Brussels. I got to see a lot of the beautiful green Island, its colorful people and saw the life of a hostess from closeby, respect!

Today we had a meeting at the hotel planned, which was cancelled...Africa ;) so I decided to relax, instead of that I got a tour from the owner through the hotel and got to see where the issues are that we have to work on! Then I tried to relax on the beach, which also didn't work. First a group of sweet teenage girls grabbed my attention. They collect shells in the ocean every day to help their families with a bit of extra money they make by selling those. Only one spoke a bit English, but we understood each other well enough. Then I I sat down with a guy who is from here but works in Dar Es Salaam. We talked about the problems on the island and he had some good ideas of how to help the people here move forward! Great to meet people like that!

After coming back to the hotel an going shopping for soda for the bar with the fundi and getting an introduction into the reservation system I decided it was better to go to my room coz thats the only way to relax...im still not the kind of person to just sit on my ... ;)

This blog has been made in 4 hours....with help of the amazing Wifi and 3G, my Iphone and Laptop!

Its a small world

Every person you meet in life is for a reason. Some to learn you a life lesson and some to enrich your life with love and laughter. Some people pass by for a moment, others stay for a lifetime and some just come and go. Some are able to make you smile with just a small gesture or a hug when you need it....just by giving you a second of their time they make a difference...those are the ones I cherish.

I am trying to say goodbye to all the people that have a place in my life. But even more then the last year I feel like I need 3 of me... So sorry for the people that I can't see before I leave, but that doesn't mean you are not in my mind or heart. The world is a small place nowadays, so we will keep in touch! I feel the support and love from my family and friends and I am very grateful for that, it is like you are al coming with me! I want you all to know that I will always be there for you, I'm just a phone call, message or flight ;) away.

We are all alone in this world and we will leave it alone. We are a responsible for our own actions and are the only ones that have to justify what we do. So take the steps that you think are right and you can justify. For me, I got this opportunity so quickly that I feel strongly that it is meant to be and this is the path chosen for me. There is a reason why I am being send there and I have the responsibility to find out what that is. This is why I seem so strong, but I am not alone, Allah is always with me.

My new home, my room is ready!

Selfless

The countdown has started. Last week was an emotional one, as expected because leaving the life behind that you are so happy with is not easy, even when you are following your dream. But now I am back on track and getting on with things.

I had a great weekend that started with a visit from a friend who is very close to my heart and I can share anything with. I spend two days with my mom in Maastricht and ended it with a relaxed and fun evening with friends! I am so grateful for all the people around me that care about me. And Making people smile and laughing with them gives me so munch energy!

On Monday I got to work finding a lot of really kind emails in my inbox. About how I show the people at my company that there is more in this world then chips and money, that is one of the biggest compliments that I ever got. And I started to realize that I am doing a good job and this company and it gave me the confidence to believe in myself. Because of the opportunities that I got here and the feedback I'm getting now that I'm leaving. Therefor it makes me feel sad for leaving, because I know the future would have given me more great opportunities but also strengthens me in feeling everything will be ok even if I decide to come back to Holland.

For me it's in my nature that I care about people and about what is happening in the world. And what I do as a volunteer in different places is not about me or about making an impression on people. I think it is one of the most important things in life that people take care of each other. That is the only way to live together and make this world a beautiful place.
Right now I'm struggling with the idea of leaving a lot of people behind that appreciate what I am doing, at the office, as a volunteer and also as a friend or daughter. I feel selfish for taking this big step for myself. And then I realize it's not only about me....again it's about wanting to help people to have a better life and future, I'm just going to do it in a different part of the world. I realize that I can never be fully happy leading a life that is only about me.

In trying there is no failure...

Everyone always tells me I am such a strong person...
Strong for choosing my own path a few years ago
Strong for travelling to Kenya alone
Strong for not giving up on my sister
Strong for choosing a religion which is under controversy
Strong for standing up for myself and others
Strong for always being there for people
Strong for opening my house and my heart
Strong for leaving...

Maybe I am strong for trying....because in trying there is no failure...


In the last year I met so much amazing people that did not have a choice but to leave home. I learned so much about their lives, families, culture and some really touched my heart and will stay with me forever. These are the strong people, the people that came here with nothing, didn't know what the future will bring, but not have possibility to go back. I see them struggle and work hard for a new life and a good future here. That is what being strong is to me.
In the last few years I have been through a lot of highs and lows, more highs then lows luckily. But I know how to get up quickly when I am down and that's why people always see me as strong. I learned throughout life and especially from the kids/people in Kenya and the refugees in Holland that staying down is never an option. I go through life choosing not to let small things get to me, I choose to enjoy what and who I have in my life. You have take the good things and be thankful. Feel blessed with what you have. Your path is written for you and you make the choice to follow it!

I am going home to Africa, but my heart will stay here...

A WTF weekend…

I don’t even know where to start…one month to go and this weekend it hit me. An amazing weekend with highs and lows…and I mean HIGHS and LOWS!!!

 

Before I leave there was one thing I needed to do…Try to get I contact with my sister. So I did with the help of a very selfless person! I got an answer that hit me really hard. Every time I try this and I think I will not be crushed this time if the answer is negative…but getting a judgmental comment about my life while she hasn’t been in it for 8 years, hurts! I am an open and honest person and I think everyone in my life knows that. So I’ll just say it as it is….she tells me (cynically) that she hopes that I will find happiness in Zanzibar because obviously I don't have that here. WFT…just a
"No" would have been enough…if you don’t want me in your life then at least don’t judge me. That is where I am blessed that I am so different from her. I know if she ever wants to come back into my life I will be judged again daily about the choices I make. And still I want her in my life, coz she is family and family is forever. Blood is thicker than water, always! It really made me think. I know I am in a very happy place in my life and because of this comment I started counting my blessings and realize what I am leaving behind. It made me doubt my decision, while this is something I have been dreaming of for a long time. This is the power she has over me….and then people keep telling me I am such a strong person…look twice please?

 

Saturday my best friend was coming over, coz we planned a weekend together. We were going to party, dance, shop, chat, laugh and, because of the message earlier that day, I decided to have an “I don’t give a F****” evening and indeed it was! We both needed a shoulder to lean (coz nooo we didn’t cry!) on and that’s what we were! First pouring our souls out and laughing so loudly to keep ourselves from crying...coz…F**** I’m leaving in a month! After some soul-pouring we danced our asses of and had fun with some great friends. An evening to remember ;)

The next morning I asked myself: ".........?” After 4 hours of sleep I woke up with a big smile on my face and pain in my body. But that’s not important, because we had fun and are going to have a lot more fun today. Like two teenage girls chatting, laughing, complaining about not sleeping enough….we conquered the Beverwijk bazaar, ran into a friend we haven’t seen in a while and did some old school shopping. I love my life!

 

But seriously…

I know I’m leaving a lot of great people behind, some very special and close to my heart. I’ll miss them really bad, I knew that before I made this decision. But looking into their eyes while they tell me they don’t what me to go was one of the hardest thing I ever had to do. Especially when it comes from an unexpected person at an unexpected time (or not so unexpected just hidden very well).

Life is full of surprises, high and low, deal with the low and move on…right now I will focus on the highs, follow my heart and spend my time with the people close to me as much as I can. The "I don't want to leave fase" has started....

 

* Sorry, but there was no other words to describe this weekend then with strong language!

 

 

Still can't believe this will be my home soon...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTPhCjQvQc0&feature=share

I feel at peace, warm inside and homesick when I see videos like this. Its still like a dream that I will call this place home in a few weeks! Its a dream come true!

Are you living your dream or did you fall asleep?

It has been a motto if mine that I have been using on various Social Media for the last few years. My life in these years has been one that, how can I say, has been lead by what my heart tells me. I made various trips to Mombasa, where I feel at home, working at the boys home and seeing them grow and blossom due to the care of Mom Melissa. I have been working at a great company, moving up and expanding my responsibilities. My work at the refugee camp in Rosmalen, working with 500 men from mostly Arabic and African countries and I have a loving family and awesome friends who I adore!
I think I found my passion and also talent in the last few years...helping people move forward, in all kind of ways. Even sometimes making life hard on myself and making myself totally unimportant to make others happy or help them move forward and get out of a difficult situation. And now....now I am taking this big step! It has been on my mind for a few years and even as a child I always said I wanted to go do volunteer work in Africa. That dream I have accomplished and loved it so much. I lost my heart to the beautiful people, great culture and good weather of East Africa. After my last (short) holiday there I came back with the same feeling I have every time... I have to do more.... I decided to check the possibilities of jobs. Surprisingly and sooner then expected I got an offer for a great job in Zanzibar. A small, but beautiful island near the coast of Tanzania and Kenya. Wow! I couldn't believe it....so now I am getting ready to leave, gave up my apartment and job and I am selling everything I own.....what a great feeling it is to not own anything, a life without belongings......that's what makes me feel free!

Curious about my new office? ;)

http://lamadrugadaresort.com/