Selfless

The countdown has started. Last week was an emotional one, as expected because leaving the life behind that you are so happy with is not easy, even when you are following your dream. But now I am back on track and getting on with things.

I had a great weekend that started with a visit from a friend who is very close to my heart and I can share anything with. I spend two days with my mom in Maastricht and ended it with a relaxed and fun evening with friends! I am so grateful for all the people around me that care about me. And Making people smile and laughing with them gives me so munch energy!

On Monday I got to work finding a lot of really kind emails in my inbox. About how I show the people at my company that there is more in this world then chips and money, that is one of the biggest compliments that I ever got. And I started to realize that I am doing a good job and this company and it gave me the confidence to believe in myself. Because of the opportunities that I got here and the feedback I'm getting now that I'm leaving. Therefor it makes me feel sad for leaving, because I know the future would have given me more great opportunities but also strengthens me in feeling everything will be ok even if I decide to come back to Holland.

For me it's in my nature that I care about people and about what is happening in the world. And what I do as a volunteer in different places is not about me or about making an impression on people. I think it is one of the most important things in life that people take care of each other. That is the only way to live together and make this world a beautiful place.
Right now I'm struggling with the idea of leaving a lot of people behind that appreciate what I am doing, at the office, as a volunteer and also as a friend or daughter. I feel selfish for taking this big step for myself. And then I realize it's not only about me....again it's about wanting to help people to have a better life and future, I'm just going to do it in a different part of the world. I realize that I can never be fully happy leading a life that is only about me.